Peace: kicking my ass for the past month

An excerpt from The Imitation of Christ:

The person who dwells in perfect peace suspects evil of no one. The person who is discontented and disgruntled has a heart filled with suspicion; she herself has no rest nor does she allow others to possess it. She often says what she ought not to say and omits saying what she should say. She thinks about another's obligations but dismisses her own. Therefore, first exercise your zeal upon yourself and only afterwards may you justly exercise it on your neighbour.

You are quite adept at excusing yourself and covering up your actions, but yet you refuse to hear the excuses of others. It would be much more just for you to accuse yourself and to excuse your brothers and sisters. If you wish others to put up with you, you must learn to put up with others.

True charity and humility only know how to become angry with one's self and not with another. That's how far you are from possessing these virtues! It is no great accomplishment for you to live with those who are meek and good, for this is something naturally pleasing to everyone. Everyone enjoys living in peace and love with those who think the same as they do, but if you can live in peace with those who are difficult, obdurate, and undiscipline, ah, that is a great grace, a manly and praiseworthy deed.

There are those who are at peace with themselves and at peace with others; and there are those who have no peace and do no allow anyone else to be in peace. Indeed, these individuals are a burden to others, but they are a heavier burden to themselves. Furthermore, there are those who not only have peace in themselves, but also try to foster peace among others.

All our peace in this wretched world comes from our humble endurance of suffering and not from living a life without it. She who best knows how to suffer enjoys the greatest peace, and such a woman is victor over herself, master of the world, friend of Christ, and heir of heaven.

Oh, I am not a person of peace! This makes me think about how to live in community ("Take first the log out of your own eye, then you can see how to remove the splinter from another's" -- don't I always think I know better than everyone else?), how to pray for myself and others -- not necessarily to pray that suffering will go away ("She who best knows how to suffer enjoys the greatest peace").