Have you thought about the celery?

Will all the talk of gas prices sky rocketing and oil becoming more of a liquid platinum than gold, have you really thought of the consequences we'll face? When the world is out of all but the most expensive and highly demanded oil, when we all start walking uphill both ways to school, what is really going to happen? Most people don't think of the consequences the lack of oil will provide outside that of fuel for our motor vehicles which provide so much mobility in our geographically vast North America. But wait a moment, what is plastic made out of? Oil. What is everything made out of? Plastic.
Then we will not be able to go anywhere or use any disposable plastic packages or durable, yet safe, playground equipment. Its all well for you to fill up your mind with these concerns, but have you thought of the celery?
Our dear friend celery (who takes more calories to digest than it provides the body) cannot exist in this world much after the oil is gone. It will have lost its best friend: petroleum based spreadable simulated cheese. Raisins will not even be able to help their companion celery when the whiz is gone because you just can't stick to plain celery.
So the next time you drive a car, use a piece of ever convenient plastic or heat your home, take a minuite to see outside yourself and think of the celery.